Helping Someone

Helping someone leave …

If someone comes to you for help, listen and don’t try to take control. The following points may help you:

• Take the person seriously and believe what they say
• Be calm and positive
• Respect their wishes at all times. Ask what they want
• Give them time to discuss feelings and needs at their own pace
• Stress that they are not responsible for the abuse and that they are not alone
• Find out if they need medical help
• Use this website to find an organisation that can help
• Do not push them to do anything they are not ready to do. They are probably the best judge of what the best way forward is and what action is safe.
• Assist them in making contact with agencies who may be able to help, e.g. Police, Next Link, legal advice.
• Help them to keep safe by making a safety plan.
• Assure them of your confidentiality. Check whether it is safe to contact them and what the safest way is of keeping in touch.

Some people leave a violent and abusive relationship after only one incident. Others may take a long time to make this change in their lives. This does not mean that the violence is less serious. It is important that if someone feels unable to leave, they continue to receive help and support and a sympathetic response. There are organisations that can help women and men who are not ready to leave.